The Moan/Snow kids...so fun!!

This picture is adorable...but man oh man was it DIFFICULT to take. Griffin is about 18 months old and has no concept of sitting still. Charlie and Emma were very well behaved, actually. Jack was a lil punk and whined/didn't want to be in the picture. And Ellie was slap happy and ridiculous. Soooo...this is the keeper!!!

Great memories...!!!

Trying to soak it in

I seriously am so bad about keeping a good rhythm with this blog. But I know it's important and I know I will LOVE looking back on these someday. Makes me frustrated that I don't always have time, or make time, for a quick entry at the end of the day.

Sooo...my struggle is that I SOOOOO love and enjoy these days and times with my kids. I love baking with them, coloring with them, chasing them around my house, having dance parties and family movie night. I love praying together in the car and I love having breakfast, lunch, and dinner with all 3 of them (most days). I love packing Ellie's lunch and I love watching her learn. I get pumped seeing Emma learn how to write new letters and I can't stand how adorable and charming Griffin is...I could just stare at him all day. I love watching them hide from Daddy when he gets home and I think it's fantastic that the girls argue about who's turn it is to have a date with their Dad.

So I love these days. A lot.
But I seriously have trouble sometimes just soaking it in and enjoying them, because I find myself THINKING too much about how fast this will go, and how quick they will be old, and how one day I will be decorating the Christmas tree without our kids in tow. Isn't that depressing? I want to ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY, but I find myself getting sad and bummed at how fast they are already growing up.
I truly look at Ellie's two front teeth (now almost fully grown in) and get the quivers as I see her smile change from silly child and drama queen, to a pretty little girl who asks questions about life, death, and friendships that are out of her league. I look SO forward to 3:30 when I go to pick her up and get to see her face and spend the evening with her.

Emma is officially beautiful. And I don't mean just outwardly. She is just the most lovely and precious little princess. I have prayed for purity, gentleness and leadership in her life since the day she popped out. It's incredible how God is doing those things in her life. So when I see her talking to her dolls and dressing up her ponies, I just LOVE those moments and don't want them to end!

Griffin was a baby last year at Christmas, and this year he will be pushing the girls aside to get to their boxes...not so he can play with their toys, but so that he can stand on them. Or put them on his head. Or throw them at them. HAHA! I love that kid...and kiss him at least 200x a day. But how is he halfway to 2 already? Geez oh peetz.

So I'm trying to soak this in. Ryan is too...we aren't good for each other in this regard b/c we constantly make comments to one another about how fast it's going or how one day it'll be different. We're CRAZY. But we sure do love our family. :)

Ellie and I in Nicaragua...lunch at the Orphanage

Pumpkin carving time...such a fun night every year

And THIS...just jammies, Saturday mornings, cartoons, hanging out...NOTHING like this.

The trip of the year

This trip was not a missions trip. It was a trip where WE received. Yes we took some toys and we left a little money. But the end result of the few days we were there was a CHANGED perspective, mind, thought process for both Ellie and me. It was amazing to be able to do that with my dad and my daughter.

The kids at the orphanage left marks on us....they were some of the godliest people I've ever been around. They knew they had nothing, yet they had joy. They knew they were going to eat the same thing for dinner that they had for breakfast and lunch, but food was nourishment and kept them alive...and it was GOOD. They loved Jesus. They were grateful for the truth and the life that God gave them when they were RESCUED from their previous life and taken into the orphanage.

These people in Managua, Nicaragua have nothing. They literally have nothing...the kids in the orphanage are significantly more blessed than the families an individuals living outside of their gates. More than half of the city has no electricity or running water. They walk in knee-deep mud in their front yards. They hang their clothes on clotheslines that are also supporting the walls of their homes...

the highlight of the trip for Ellie was when two of the girls stopped us as we were walking to the van to leave. Both of them went into their cubbies in the bathroom and grabbed one of their only toys (a barbie doll, a pair of hair accessories and a lion)...and they insisted that she take them with her. She instantly became emotional and didn't even know how to respond. As soon as we got outside of the orphanage, she began sobbing. Ellie felt it. She got it. She knew that those kids had nothing and yet GAVE, to her. What a lesson to learn for a little peanut from Sylvania, OH.

Encouragement of the century

So last night was the most encouraged and cared for that Ryan and I have felt in a long time. Pretty simple, too. We just prayed. But it was needed, and Ryan and I have felt dry, tired, weak, frustrated, and even unmotivated lately. So Jesus initiated this prayer time in people's minds/hearts at JUST the right time.

Sam and Dyan Windom, Erin Martell, Allie Rothman, and the 2 of us...we prayed for just over an hour...but MAN oh MAN did God come in heavy ways.

We prayed for the church for awhile; for the people, the leadership, the direction. Then we had some time where they all just prayed over me, and later...just Ryan. I don't want to forget the many encouraging and spirit filled things that were prayed over me, so I'm going to write them down so I can refer back to them often.

**You are in His Hands
**God uses you to encourage other people in tremendous ways. Don't be afraid to speak out into people in clear/direct/encouraging ways, even when you're not "sure" if it's just something you're thinking or if God is really pushing you to do that. They prayed about how I
**God is going to use your upcoming trip to the orphanage in Nicaragua and he will change your life in the process.
**They prayed for my hands to have a healing touch to the kids we see/visit/play with at the orphanage...that my hands would be reassuring as I hug and healing as I pray for kids.
**You are called to be on a hard road as a pastor's wife with a role of being an emotional doctor in so many people's lives, and that is not always fun and certainly not easy. But it's not meant to be a burden, it's meant to be a joy.
More later...as I continue to remember...

crazy stupid fun

crazy

1st grade girls...are crazy. I can't believe how mean they are, and catty, and lippy, and just...mean. Ellie has either witnessed or been told by her "friends" that someone/she, can't be friends with them anymore. (FLASHBACK to my 6th grade year when I was told that, too. But for real...6 year olds?) I had to rub my daughter's back last night as she was crying and didn't understand what it meant when someone screamed at her: STOP STEALING MY FRIENDS. Oh dear God help give me the patience and wisdom and tenderness to encourage Ellie and pour into her appropriately.

stupid

imagining my family on 20/20...is stupid. Emma, Griffin, and I took Ellie lunch at school today. It was our week...Ryan and I take turns each week. It's such a fun way to get to see/know all the first graders and also see Ellie's face mid-day. It's only 22 min. long for crying out loud, but at least we're keeping our faces in the school. Today, however, I imagined my family as the token "kid gone missing" episode at 10:00 on a friday night. Ellie left the lunchroom to go get her coat (outdoor recess is right after lunch). I waited for her to come back to the lunchroom, but she didn't. It was toward the end of lunch so I figured she must have just gone outside to play on the playground and just didn't say goodbye to us. I waited in the hallway and didn't see her. I went outside on the playground, but still didn't see her. So I figured she was still in her classroom. on my drive home, however, I started to imagine those tv shows and started freaking out that Ellie was stolen or something. Needless to say, I was soon on the phone with the school, asking them to check to make sure she was in her classroom. Oh man...I became "one of those moms" today.

fun

my kids...they just are SO fun.I really can't say it enough; I just am loving this time with my kids. Friday night family pizza/movie night has become a tradition (tonight was our 7th week in a row) and it's just too great. When the girls were praying for dinner tonight they thanked God that it was Friday so we could have time together. WHAT? I love it. I pray over and over that they just continue to love it.


griffin...my little marshmallow...The kid just cracks me up right now. He is a walking ham. He makes the most hilarious facial expressions, he eats so incredibly much, he plays peek-a-boo but covers his EARS instead of his EYES. I love it. He gives his sisters the most awkward, but adorable, hugs every time he sees them because he just loves them so much. And he loves to sing and dance. I mean for real...like no other one year old I've ever seen. The girls are nutso when it comes to the dance floor, so we have dance parties a lot. But Griffin is NOT ashamed to just break it down. The kid grooves and turns his head sideways and "raises the roof," for lack of a better description. Just too fun...

chicago...most memorable weekend I've had in a loooong time...and SO much fun!

My mom had the greatest idea to take the girls and I to Chicago for Emma's upcoming birthday. She was so excited at the thought of getting the girls an American Girl Doll. So, after inviting my sister (Kiki) and dad (Papa) and loading up the car with big girl purses, clothes, shoes, movies, snacks, and lip gloss...we were off. WHAT a weekend it was. Two nights at the Embassy Suites, lots of rides on cool "alligators" (that's what Emma calls escalators; too cute to correct her, even if she IS almost 4), and elevators, fancy food, shopping on Michigan Ave., deep dish Chicago pizza, and a two and a half hour GIRL TIME in the famous American girl palace, we loaded back up and drove home. It was perfect. I have never enjoyed time with my babes as much as I did last weekend.

Discernment

So that's the word that was in our "Get Wisdom" book this morning. I picked that page to do/talk about because I thought it was appropriate for Ellie now in the social scene at school. :)

I HIGHLY recommend this book...it's amazing.

Anyways, after it defined discernment, it had a few verses from Proverbs 4 in there about choosing the level path. We talked about what that meant and why it's important. The book always gives a few great examples about how the child can apply that word/concept to their life. I added a few of my own in there too. Then, there are some lines for the kids to write out 1 or 2 ways they could practice "discernment," or whatever word is being focused on that day. Ellie was quiet for a looong time so I finally asked her what she wanted to write down. She said she was praying so I waited a minute longer. When she said Amen, I asked her what she was talking to God about. She told me that she didn't want to tell me, and then put her head down. After MUCH reassuring that I wouldn't be mad at her, that it's always better to talk about things and to tell the truth rather than hold it in, and that I loved her no matter what, she opened up to me...

And this was it:
She told a little boy at school to Shut up.

Yep, that was what was breaking her heart. She knew it wasn't ok and that we don't say that word in our house. And she knew there was a better way to handle the fact that this kid was driving her nuts in line (tapping her, talking when they were supposed to be quiet, etc.). So she broke down and said it.
While talking about discernment she realized that she had chosen the wrong path and didn't choose the right way. I LOVE that that scenario from school popped into her mind when we were talking this morning.

Now...praying for MANY MANY MANY more opportunities to talk, confess, pray, and learn together with Ellie...and the other 2 kiddos as well.

7 DAYS OF SCHOOL LATER

Ok...I know sending Ellie to school is right...at least I THINK it's right. Having her home with me last year was the absolute best decision I've ever made though. I am so so so so so so so thankful that I had one more year with my peanut. I'm loving that we made lots of cookies, did lots of laundry together, had lots of chit chats, laughed a lot, got beat in MEMORY games almost weekly...those times are irreplaceable.

...Because NOW...I'm dealing with a tired and emotional and stressed out 6 year old. She's not being bad or whiney, she's just reached her limit. For the first time EVER she didn't want to walk out on the soccer field last night because Ryan and I were dropping her off and leaving to go on a date night. (A much needed date night, nonetheless). A friend of mine (and one of Ellie's favorite people ever) was going to be watching her practice and bringing her home for us. But...when we got to practice, she didn't want to leave my side. She said she couldn't go out there. Yes she ultimately did, and loved it, and did very well...but she was hesitant, and that was weird for her.
This morning...same thing...literally would NOT walk into her classroom. Day 7 of school, lots of genuine tears, wholehearted requests for me not to leave her.Um yeah, talk about ripping my heart out. And this is ELLIE who is my social butterfly and the leader of the pack.

And to top it off she came home saying that a "friend" at school nicknamed another girl "UGLY" and called her that at recess. Ellie said she didn't do it. But how long will she remain OK with not fitting in with the mean girls??

So needless to say, it's been a hard week. It's hard to know what to say and how to respond with wisdom and grace, while instilling courage along the way. Being a parent is hard.