We will miss you, Mimi

Today...
We lost our mom/mother-in-law and Mimi.
We cried a lot.

We tried hard to imagine what it might be like for her NOW, now that she's not on this earth anymore. That made us smile, and also made us dig deep.

We felt so loved by the too-many-to-count messages we've received.
We felt exhaustion like we've never known before.
We looked at our kids differently.

Today...
We received an email and a phone call from our adoption agency. (our September referral update, a few days early)
Our number on the wait list in Ethiopia stayed the same for the month of September. To quote our contact person, "We hope October is a more fruitful month..."

Ahh yes, after today, we longingly look forward to more "fruitful" months as well. But, we know that September was fruitful in ways we just don't quite understand yet.
Because today, we are reminded of why we are adopting...it's not about the wait...it's about expanding our family and bringing a life into our home that needs us as much as we need him.
Today, we are reminded of how short life is.
We get one chance at it.

So yes, today we tasted sorrow, and we can taste joy. We GET to live today. We get to press on to a more fruitful day tomorrow. And we continue to long for our "little Ethiopian dude," as Ellie said tonight, to sleep in the room down the hall.

7 year olds think in SQUINKY language. Today, Ellie chose joy as she laid these little people out on her floor and imagined a more fruitful month. From left to right: "Ethiopian cuteness, G-boy, Rosie, Me, Mom and Dad"
Pretty sweet.
:)

Someday...

This book rocked my world tonight when putting Emma to bed. It's rocked me before...always gets me choked up and always makes me treasure the moments I have with my sweet kiddos. But tonight it really got me.

I have to remind myself that these days are fleeting (during the stressful "getting dinner ready" moments). I have to remind myself to not just look forward to bedtime so I can have MY time...because these kids WANT to be with us now. I have to remember that I don't know how many days I have or am promised with my kiddos.
Soooo...I read a book like this one, and I just want to cry my eyes out. Especially because I'm watching Ryan's mom say goodbye to her kids and grandkids, mom and sisters, her best friends as well. Who wants to do that? No one. But I guess, in some form or another, we all have to do that SOMEDAY.

So while scratching Emma's back tonight and praying for her, after reading this aloud, I just soaked her pillow with my tears. I am a lucky mama. I am a blessed daughter myself, both as a MOAN and as a daughter to THE King. I am blessed and I thank God so much for purpose in life other than to get to Friday or to get to the next event. Thank you Jesus!

Referral Update

Today we got our first number for the official wait list. We are currently number 69!!!!! 
Here we go...let the journey begin!!!