We will miss you, Mimi

Today...
We lost our mom/mother-in-law and Mimi.
We cried a lot.

We tried hard to imagine what it might be like for her NOW, now that she's not on this earth anymore. That made us smile, and also made us dig deep.

We felt so loved by the too-many-to-count messages we've received.
We felt exhaustion like we've never known before.
We looked at our kids differently.

Today...
We received an email and a phone call from our adoption agency. (our September referral update, a few days early)
Our number on the wait list in Ethiopia stayed the same for the month of September. To quote our contact person, "We hope October is a more fruitful month..."

Ahh yes, after today, we longingly look forward to more "fruitful" months as well. But, we know that September was fruitful in ways we just don't quite understand yet.
Because today, we are reminded of why we are adopting...it's not about the wait...it's about expanding our family and bringing a life into our home that needs us as much as we need him.
Today, we are reminded of how short life is.
We get one chance at it.

So yes, today we tasted sorrow, and we can taste joy. We GET to live today. We get to press on to a more fruitful day tomorrow. And we continue to long for our "little Ethiopian dude," as Ellie said tonight, to sleep in the room down the hall.

7 year olds think in SQUINKY language. Today, Ellie chose joy as she laid these little people out on her floor and imagined a more fruitful month. From left to right: "Ethiopian cuteness, G-boy, Rosie, Me, Mom and Dad"
Pretty sweet.
:)

Someday...

This book rocked my world tonight when putting Emma to bed. It's rocked me before...always gets me choked up and always makes me treasure the moments I have with my sweet kiddos. But tonight it really got me.

I have to remind myself that these days are fleeting (during the stressful "getting dinner ready" moments). I have to remind myself to not just look forward to bedtime so I can have MY time...because these kids WANT to be with us now. I have to remember that I don't know how many days I have or am promised with my kiddos.
Soooo...I read a book like this one, and I just want to cry my eyes out. Especially because I'm watching Ryan's mom say goodbye to her kids and grandkids, mom and sisters, her best friends as well. Who wants to do that? No one. But I guess, in some form or another, we all have to do that SOMEDAY.

So while scratching Emma's back tonight and praying for her, after reading this aloud, I just soaked her pillow with my tears. I am a lucky mama. I am a blessed daughter myself, both as a MOAN and as a daughter to THE King. I am blessed and I thank God so much for purpose in life other than to get to Friday or to get to the next event. Thank you Jesus!

Referral Update

Today we got our first number for the official wait list. We are currently number 69!!!!! 
Here we go...let the journey begin!!!

Girls Keep Growing

First week of school- a total hit!
Ellie didn't bat an eye walking into Maplewood this year. She was super excited to have new friends in her class and was thrilled with the fact that routine would be back in her life again!!

Emma couldn't wait to start school, and asked me at least 40 times when she got to go. She loved being back in the BLUE room and didn't even look back at me when I dropped her off. Such an independent little munchkin.

Familiarity

I love that word---familiarity. I love it because familiarity breeds comfort. And comfort makes us feel safe.
At the lake this afternoon---Ryan and Ellie are in Columbus spending an afternoon with Linda. Griff, Ems, and I came to the lake with some of the Moan fam. As Griffin naps, the crew took a float boat ride to the sand bar...familiarity. I painted my nails and sipped on a fresh cold beverage. Then I came up to the deck so I could hear the worship music better and laid on the bench, looked up at the tree for awhile. I love trees. And this one is familiar. I have been coming and looking at this tree since I was a sophomore in high school. The lake, the sounds of the waves; familiarity. But even though familiarity is comfortable, it isn't forever.

I can't help but think about Ryan and Ellie sitting with Linda in her condo this afternoon. That condo is a recognizable, familiar place. Pork loins and mashed potatoes. Her famous bow tie spinach pasta after a long day of teaching in Westerville. Lots of chit chatting at that counter as she washed dishes. Countless bridal and baby showers and Christmas snacks in the condo's party room...can't even count. Grandkids dancing all over that living room. Ellie bringing her bike to ride to show Mimi, the summer before she turned 5. It's familiar and it's safe. But it's not forever. And Linda isn't going to be with us for much longer.

Just makes me want to cry. And curl up in a ball, because life goes fast. But obviously that's not the best solution. :) We have hope in Jesus and we don't exist on this earth, looking at this great tree here at the lake, just to feel familiar and be comfortable. Man oh man, no matter what the season is, we have to know that it isn't about us. It isn't about us making ourselves feel comfy and cozy, because it ends.

The song, "In Christ Alone" just came on as I sit here. Yep. This is the truth. This is what it's about. Couldn't have come at a better time.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Triathalon #3

This was a beautiful day, a perfect temperature, and an easy race.

I trained harder than I performed, but I soooo loved this experience!

Enough to crack you up

Ryan and I couldn't stop laughing at the similarities between Griffin and his Papa. As Griff pranced around in his Mr. Potato Head glasses I couldn't help but realize how he looked (yet again) like my dad. Oh so fun.

 

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