Spotlight

I heard more about a woman today that has been attending our church.
I'll just call her Sue.

After hearing about the details of Sue's life, the road she has walked, and the courage she has had to display, in order to walk away from drug addictions and her unhealthy family, I am pretty humbled. This woman is one walking the battle lines right now. Sue is working hard, she seeks no spotlight--and yet she has been two years clean, working to get her life back on track. To me that is a strong woman and mother. That is someone that deserves attention and praise, and who God is so proud of right now.

Sue is also experiencing grace, and the REAL love of Jesus in this hard season of her life. This has nothing to do with me, my family, or my church. It's just God. He is in the spotlight. He has sought her out and He is changing her life.

Two amazing people, strangers to Sue just a few months ago have stepped into her world. They are persistent in loving her and showing her that she matters. They are determined to see her walk in freedom. They are being generous beyond what most of us Americans would even consider in our comfortable I'll -help -you -if -you -help -me lifestyles. This couple is demonstrating sacrifice and they are walking the battle lines with Sue. Everyday.
Again--people who probably deserve to be in the "spotlight" because they are giving and serving and making tremendous impact, yet this couple is not asking for one single thing in return.

See, it's interesting reflecting on this right now because I've been thinking a lot about that "spotlight" thing lately.

My daughters fight over the spotlight in my house. Who can dance the silliest, sing the best, run the fastest...
My five year old son asks me 30 times a day if I saw him karate chop the couch or if I heard him sing that song.

My 7 year old asked me tonight if I know anyone that's famous. When I told her no, she asked me if WE were famous, or if we were just popular.
"Why would you think we're famous babe?"
"Well because everyone knows us. Because daddy is the pastor and because we have a brother from Africa..."

Ha! Wow.  The spotlight. Something that even kids want. But how terribly sad.

 here's what I think about that right now...
Yep my hubby is a pastor and yep we have a sweet brown babe from Ethiopia. Yep it looks, to many outsiders, like life is glorious and we have it MADE because we are "in ministry," and our kids are happy and spot on rule followers, right?

But the reality is I'm insanely tired. There are too many days when I want to crawl in a hole and not come out (I might have said that to a friend today).
And I really really don't like that my daughter thinks being famous, or in the spotlight, is a noteworthy path to try and walk down.

Parenting is hard. Adoption is hard. And you can hear that 7,000 times...but until you walk the road you just do not fully grasp how much you need Jesus to redeem your own heart as much as you need Him to protect and heal your child's.

Being "in ministry" is not the most fun spotlight to glow under. In fact the role and position causes more sleepless nights and tears than I really every anticipated for our life. We get hurt, work never seems to end, rarely do we feel like we're doing a whole lot very WELL... and we have to KEEP GETTING BACK UP all the time.

So today, when I heard about SUE, I had to take a deeper breath and thank God for how he "spotlights" people.  He just doesn't care about it. He wants to change lives. He wants to change my life. And yes He has already done that. I have experienced transforming grace, but I am more excited to experience more. I am thankful that He will be what looks beautiful in me when the sun comes up tomorrow and when I put my foot in front of the other one. Tomorrow I will also tell my daughter that we are far from famous and certainly not popular. :)